"Give him a taste of his own medicine" ...? Really?
Yesterday, I overheard a mother giving her daughter relationship "advice." Boy! Do I wish I could've saved her!!! Her boyfriend had been neglecting her and she felt like she'd been put on the back burner. This girls mother said "Well, give him a taste of his own medicine and do the same to him." I was appalled!!! What kind of crap is that?!?!
Hello people!! Don't you know that snakes are immune to their own poison? If a guy is mistreating you...and you mistreat him back... 1) Its NOT going to hurt him like it hurts you, 2) You are further poisoning yourself by doing something you don't like done to you & 3) You will further justify his actions by joining in the act.
The First of the Four Agreements is to speak impeccably! You must speak to yourself, and your partner with integrity and truth. Come from the heart and avoid sinful or manipulative comments.
~ Look inside yourself and find happiness within. Are you feeling neglected because you rely on him to entertain and satisfy you? Then tell him, sincerely, how you feel.
The 2nd Agreement is "don't take anything personally."
Are you questioning yourself? Are you second guessing your value? STOP! Remember that NOTHING others say or do is because of you. It is their own projection of their poisoned "dream" (mental state).
~Find the light within you. Know your worth. Do not attach pain or emotion to his stories, actions, or reactions.
The 3rd Agreement states, "don't make assumptions."
Don't assume ANYTHING! clear your head and heart of everything.
~Fill yourself with light from whatever diving being you believe in. Communicate clearly what it is you are feeling, but don't give him the burden of making things better. This is ONLY up to you. You have the right to tell him, of course speaking impeccably (without sin or manipulation), how you feel and what you would like changed, and you ALSO HAVE THE RIGHT to not agree with the current relationship. It is better to be clear and walk away, then to live in a space where the energy is foggy. Fog prevents good communication, which prevents understanding, which strains love, respect, trust, and perception.
Finally, the 4th agreement is "always do your best!"
If you always do your best in applying agreements 1-3, you will no longer second guess yourself. You will no longer resent yourself, judge yourself, or make yourself suffer. Because every time you look back on a situation, you will know you have done your best, and if the other person cannot join you on your AGREED path, then this person can separate from you.
Who knows what the future holds?
Always doing my best, <3 NeenaJay